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"Look to the clock on the wall

Hands hardly moving at all . . . 

Time, time, ticking on me

Alone is the last place I wanted to be"

--Brandi Carlile

The lyrics of this song really speak to my experience with deep sorrow and loss, some valleys were just so low I didn't know how to climb out.  But I did climb out, and when I did that, the Universe offered a gift to me, my Australian husband, Adam.

I met Adam in New Orleans in the late summer of 2014 by chance in the oldest bar in America, Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop Bar, on the corner of Bourbon and St. Philip.  I was down there visiting a friend from nursing school, and he was traveling through the US and Canada with Contiki.  We only had a 2-hour conversation, but during that time we exchanged details.  Weeks later, Adam came to Portland to see me and we fell in love.

Then this happened:

And just like that, in the mysterious way life does, there was a gift I didn't see coming.  As I have let go of the way I thought life was supposed to work out, I have had the courage to walk into a life I never imagined was possible.

These days I relate more to these Brandi Carlile lyrics:

"I think it's time we found a way back home
You lose so many things you love as you grow
I missed the days when I was just a kid
My fear became my shadow, I swear it did

Wherever is your heart I call home"

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