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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'm about to spend my first night away from my baby girl, and I don't like it at all. The only thing that keeps me from unhooking the IV and bolting out of this hospital bed is reminding myself that I haven't been able to be much of a Mama the past three days anyway, and that when I do leave here, I'll be much better and on the road to recovery. This case of mastitis has really put up a fight. It started around 1AM Sunday morning with shivering from chills that hit me right at my core. That was intense. Then I stood up and realized how dizzy and sick I was. I tried to find my phone to call the doctor, but I'd left it in my car, so I finally gave up and went back to sleep. Around 6AM, I got up again, barely made it to the bathroom without passing out, then I nearly did pass out but was fortunately able to fall into the couch. There were a few times I ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to be sick, but was able to control the urge. The chills continued, my fever went up to 102.0 and my bones ached. It felt like I had the flu. By 6:30AM, Landon came downstairs and found a phone for me to use. I called the doctor on-call, and fortunately, she put through a prescription by phone. I took my first dose of oral antibiotics at 7:30am, because my husband raced out the door and drove to get them for me. I was so sick all day. Couldn't get out of bed sick. My neck hurt to move it, I had a horrible headache, and all the other symptoms I listed above. My left breast grew increasingly red, inflamed, and painful. By the end of the day, it hurt just to breathe. I knew that I had to go back to the doctor, because instead of helping, I'd actually become worse on the antibiotic. By the next afternoon, I had a new prescription for a stronger, wider spectrum antibiotic, and high hopes that finally I'd be on the road to recovery. Not so, my infection actually got worse and continued to spread, and some of my other symptoms got worse as well. I went back to the doctor today and she decided to admit me for IV antibiotics and an ultrasound of the breast to see if there was an abscess. Fortunately, there was not, which is good, because that would have required surgery to drain the fluid. So here I blog, from a hospital bed with a still very infected breast, 3 pricks from trial and error with an IV (I have small veins--in fact, they said the next needle down would be what they use for newborns), and a feeling of sadness at being separated from my baby for the first time overnight. I've been pumping, using this amazing pump, the Medela Symphony 2.0, which is the best pump at mimicking baby's sucks. I wish I'd known about this pump all along. I have struggled many a time with my single Medela pump at home, only to get 1 or maybe 1.5 ounces in 20 minutes. With the Symphony 2.0, I pumped 5 ounces in 15 minutes tonight--and that's for someone who never pumps. Anyway, tonight I have many mixed emotions as I get ready to fall asleep without my baby, my little boy, and my dear husband, who has been so supportive through all of this. I know I need to get better, which is why I'm here, but the separation anxiety is really difficult. I know I'll sleep deeply, for the first time in many years all alone, and my last thoughts before I go to bed will be of them . . . and the latte Landon has promised to bring with Juniper in the morning once Sam has safely arrived at preschool. I'm going to miss him a lot tomorrow, too, but I know he'll be happy at school, which makes me happy, and I'm hoping to get to chat with him on the phone before he leaves. Okay, they've brought a dose of Ambien now so I can sleep, so goodnight for now.


The Ferriter Family said...

Hope you feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

I hope the morning light has brought much healing. Our bodies are amazing, and yours just needed this break to really heal. I totally understand how you were feeling being away from the kids. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Be well, and let this be the last case of mastitis ever in your life! :-) Stefanie

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you are so sick Karli! I hope you are feeling better this morning!

Anonymous said...

The symphony is AN INCREDIBLE pump, we rented one when Laurel was a newborn and it was just the best ever. I fell in love with the idea of pumping and we eventually bought a Pump in style, which was.. an incredible let down (pardon the unintentional pun) compared to the Symphony.

unfortunately when I was looking at how much symphony's cost, $1600 was much much too much to spend on a pump.

I hope you feel better soon!

Every time I get a plugged duct that starts getting hot or red I just absolutely panic because I know how scary it can get and how fast!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear Karli--I'm sorry you've been so sick! If you need anything, please let me know! Hope you were able to get some sleep last night and get home soon.

Ayelet said...

Oh my goodness, Karli! I hope that the IV antibiotics do their thing and that you are able to enjoy that Ambien as much as you can. Let me know if there's anything I can do.

Aviva said...

OMG -- I hope you are doing WAY better now and are already home with your family. How absolutely scary!

Man, I'm too sick lately myself to know what I could offer to do for you that might help without passing along my family's germs. But please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

Claudia said...

Dearest Karli Ann,
I am so very sorry you had to go through all of that. But being as I was on the phone with you at the Hospital ~ (and you failed to mention that it was VERY painful to have the antibotic) I know that you are feeling better right now~~and since I have taken a few days to read your blog.

So glad you are feeling better!!!

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