"To Market, to Market, to Buy a Plum Bun . . . "

Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The day before we left for Long Beach last week, Landon was still out of town, and there was only a few morsels of food in the house. Something had to be done, so I reluctantly took the kids shopping by myself, which is never an easy task for me--in fact, it zaps my energy at an astonishing rate, and takes a lot of caffeine to make it happen.

Somehow, I forgot my ERGO baby carrier, and since Juniper recently upgraded from her Snugride to a Britax Marathon, I had little choice but to buckle her into the shopping cart. She can't quite sit up yet, but with the help of the safety belt on the shopping cart seat, and blankets stuffed all around (there must be an actual product to help with this), she lit up, enjoying her new view. Samuel insisted on riding in the shopping cart as well, but despite this, I somehow managed to cram $166.16 worth of groceries around his body without smashing the bread or bruising the pears. In the picture above, we are waiting in line to get aforementioned caffeine.

Still waiting for a quad latte, Juniper found a way to wriggle free from the blankets; the safety belt kept her from completely falling over. I was to adjust and readjust those blankets dozens of times as we made our way through the aisles. All the while she was happy as could be. Oh, and yes, she is wearing pajamas. At some point, getting out the door starts to go from complicated to never going to happen, so I just leave, and sometimes, some of us are still in our pajamas.

An hour later, we had only made it through the organic section of the produce department at Fred Meyer. I'm still not quite sure why I decided to shop at Freddy's today. Many of the products I wanted for recipes I'm making this week could not be found, so I was forced to go with a less healthy choice. Next time, I'll stick with New Seasons. In this picture, my smile is fake (we're still on aisle 1 and it's been an hour), and my nursing bra was in the laundry pile at home. Nursing tank tops just don't do a woman justice. Enough said.

Another hour later, we'd been to the bathroom twice for Samuel, which meant leaving the shopping cart, taking valuables (and Juniper), and simultaneously holding all valuables (and Juniper) while assisting Samuel. It's so unfair that moms don't get to include these skills on their resumes. I can imagine the looks I'd get during a job interview if I talked about all the skills I learned as a stay-at-home mom. "I feel I am qualified to waitress at your 4-star restaurant, because as a mom, I mastered the skill of holding a five-month old baby, camera, purse, and diaper bag, while helping a three-year old to go pee and wash hands in a public restroom." Somehow, I don't think mentioning these skills would land me the job.

Grocery shopping solo with two small kids is an adventure in motherhood that I don't recommend unless absolutely necessary--especially if one of those two small kids is breastfeeding and the other is no longer wearing a diaper. Be prepared for an accident (e.g. three year old with wet pants and standing in a puddle), bathroom breaks (takes time, but will hopefully prevent the wet pants and puddles), breastfeeding breaks (this can be done while simultaneously pushing a shopping cart, but it takes skill, and again, probably won't land you a job if you mention this skill during an interview), tantrums, a broken jar of pickles on aisle four, and all the stop-and-chats (see youtube clip below) with various strangers who feel the need to tell you to "enjoy it now, they grow up so fast." Well, strangers in the supermarket, there's only so much enjoyment to be found at the grocery store with two small kids, so try to accept the fact that I'm not basking in the joy of motherhood on a continual basis. I'll enjoy my kids some other time.

" . . . home again, home again, market is done."

I credit Larry David for the expression "the stop-and-chat." Here is a clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 2, Episode 20, "The Massage," where Larry passes an acquaintance on the street, and refuses to do a "stop-and-chat."


Annagrace said...

Did you see that study they just did on what the average SAHM's job is worth? Well over $100K! Sounds about right, huh? Sometimes on a tough day it's nice to know that our skill set (in a magical world, of course) is worth more than our husbands'. Of course, actual money isn't handed to us at the end of the day and in the meantime we still have to brave the grocery store... This probably tops my list of what I'm most worried about with two. Even at N.S.--two bottoms, two screaming mouths, 4 grabbing hands...FUN.

Jeremy said...

Ugh. I battled the grocery store with both boys for probably the first 8 months until I realized that I really... really, disliked doing it. It completely zapped my energy too. And it was just too hard with Ian running away from me all the time and then Sawyer crying halfway through because he was tired of sitting in the cart. Somehow losing an hour or two in an evening seemed much better!

I can only imagine how much harder it is having to take potty breaks. But I so have the breastfeeding and pushing a cart thing down. LOL

Mad skillz.

Kelli said...

Oh I am very familiar with this... although I echoe the above comment in that I now take a few hours at night to do grocery shopping. It's mniserable with all three kids, and I hardly EVER do it anymore. Bad, bad experiences!

Funny post, though. It's always nice to know that others go through similar situations!

Claudia said...

I AM NOT downplaying what you go through at all!!!! Please believe that, but I so remember going to the grocery store with all four of you girls, three in diapers, one potty training, on nursing, and I had two shopping carts. I pushed one, pulled the other.....and when the one-- ( being you ) needed the potty break---well - not a pretty sight!!!
Needless to say, I was completely exhausted and I did not have a husband that would help me out so I could go in the evenings, but as exhausted as I got I would of done it in an instant.
If you remember, I tried to shop for everything once a month except for bread and milk.
I love the pictures!!!!!!! and if Samuel took the one of you, he is getting very good at taking pictures!!
I used the strapping in and blankets to hold them up just as you did. Believe me, Mom's know how to juggle many things, and make a lot of changes when needed.
I so - so relive my life of raising you kids through you!!!!
Thank-You for all of the beautiful memories Karli Ann!!! My first born little ( big) girl!!!!
Love you,

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