From the Trenches of Motherhood

Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I've been regularly tired since becoming a mom in February of 2005, but lately, tiredness has taken on a whole new meaning. The way I felt today when I woke up was comparable to the drowsiness that Benadryl can bring on. Way too tired to funtion. Something had to change. I desperately wanted to feel energetic. So I did something bad--I drank 7 shots of espresso.

I was wired all afternoon. I got a lot done, the house looked great.

Then 5pm hit.

Juniper wouldn't stop crying, the espresso had worn off, and I wanted to collapse into bed. But oh, no. Juniper cried from about 5pm to 11pm, at which point she finally fell asleep. By 10pm, I realized I was developing a case of mastitis. And Juniper was still crying. After spending an hour massaging & pumping, it seemed to be getting worse, so I phoned the on-call doctor, who wanted me to drive to the ER. At 11:30pm?! Whatever happened to over-the-phone prescriptions? I didn't go, and decided to wait until morning. In between all this, I was sobbing and feeling pretty sorry for myself. I thought, "No one on earth had ever walked in my shoes," and believed it was true, which made me cry even harder. I cried myself to sleep listening to "Real Time with Bill Maher" on my ipod. I dreamed Spain had a caucus and voted me in as their Queen. Then I dreamed I drove a four wheeler up the Egyptian pyramids and sat on the Great Sphinx. I won't remember days like this in three years, because you just don't remember days when you're that tired--but here it is, documented and published on the world-wide web.

8 comments:

Andrea said...

Karli, I'm so sorry! The mastitis sucks and is so unfair on top of everything else! Are you feeling any better?

And you're right, you feel so absolutely alone when you are that exhausted trying to take care of a fussy baby (with a toddler!) who refuses to sleep. It starts wearing on your brain and you can't even function doing simple things.

I hope you can rest today some. Put the tv on for Samuel and lay on the couch to try and catch up. At this point.. it's about surviving.

Great dream by the way. I especially love that you drove a 4 wheeler up the pyramids :-).

Annagrace said...

Oh, Karli--I'm so so so sorry! I just about cried reading this...let me know if I can do anything. I know one day you'll get to the other side--I just wish I could make it happen for you sooner! Thinking about you today...

Robby Gilliam said...

Karli, I am sorry for your frustration, but you post really did make me laugh. Especially your dreams. For one I never knew Spain had a caucus & I never knew you were running for Queen. =)

You're a funny woman, but heck your my sister so I love ya. I hope you're doing well!

Claudia said...

Karli,
Doesn't the 7 shots of espresso bother Juniper? Maybe that is why she was so fussy? I found that out with you kids, if I drank to much caffeine it would really bother you.
After talking to you yesterday I hope you are feeling a lot better!! I hope the Dr. helped you!!
See you Sat. Honey!!
Mom

Betsy said...

Karli! I know from experience that antibiotics fro the mastitis will make you feel like a new woman. ALSO, though, has your Dr. checked your iron levels lately? I had mine checked and you can totally be iron deficient without being anemic. And my Dr. said that you have to eat like 200 pounds of spinach to take care of the problem. Honestly girl, if it doesn't get better, I would check into your iron levels. Mine were super low (I was actually anemic) and after just 2 days, I feel like 2000% better. It's amazing. I literally have not felt this good in a LOOOONG time. Take care of yourself!

Kelli said...

Okay, I first should say that I too feel very, very sorry for you. But I also have to add that I find this somewhat funny as well. Don't hate me-I just cannot believe how similar it sounds to my nights with Sienna. It is SO MUCH harder with your second/third baby than with your first! At least with the twins, (because they were on the exact same schedule) if they slept during the day and I was horribly tired I slept as well. However, that wasn't really an option with Sienna because I had two others to take care of.

Also, the 7 shots of espresso comment was pretty much what made me laughing out loud because it is SO something I would do. I always drink WAY too much caffeine when I'm first nursing because I am so tired.

It will get better, which I know you know, but I though I'd reiterate it. I hope you get to feeling better asap!

Amy said...

SEVEN????!! Oh my goodness!!

I feel ya Karli...I have definitely had plenty of days where I've felt that tired. In fact, I am sitting here on the computer when I should be taking a nap because I am so stinking tired and grumpy. It's a whole different ball game when you have little ones. Why is it that they beg to NOT have to take a nap and I am begging to have just an hour of sleep???

Okay, enough of my rambling. I hope your day gets easier and you manage to sneak in some rest somehow today. I agree with Andrea....it really is about surviving...do what you have to...make it a movie day for Samuel. ;)

Amy said...

Oh one more thing....I got mastitis when Eliana was one week old. It made me SO sick. I got a fever, the chills, etc. It was definitely NOT fun. So I went to the doctor the next day (I too was begging for the prescription over the phone!) and he decided to take some of my stitches out while I was there. It was horrible. I had a fever and was achy all over and he wanted to take some stitches out???!! Let me just say I left there crying my eyes out because of all the pain.

I hope your recovery is super quick Karli!

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