Not Knowing

Monday, February 13, 2006

My Dad (pictured above this past summer on his 60th birthday w/ Samuel) is in misery today with an abdomen full of fluid again. He will go in this afternoon for the third time in less than a week to have liters drained out of his abdomen. They are still running tests, but I'm frustrated they don't have the results back yet, while my Dad has to sit around feeling miserable. Isn't there more they can do? He sees his cancer doctor tomorrow, so maybe we will hear something then. Not knowing is hard, but knowing is hard as well, especially if it is bad news. I don't know which is better--not knowing or knowing.

I wish I could wake up from this nightmare now.

It is a dark, cold, and grey day today.
Where did the sunshine go? --Karli
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