Looking Back

Friday, February 17, 2006

I want to go back to the way things were before my life blew up in my face. I had my Ford Aspire, Josh was alive, my Dad was not sick, when something went wrong with where we were living, we called a landlord instead of dealing with it ourselves. I actually thought back then that I would never have to deal with a loved-one fighting cancer (let alone my own Dad) like I saw other people dealing with it, because something like that could never happen in my family--why would it? We've already suffered enough. Isn't there a limit to the amount one family has to suffer? I guess not, because despite all the other shit we've had to deal with in our family, my Dad got cancer anyway. As the oldest of 5 kids, I'm only 29--too young to be dealing with this, and my 21 year old brother is certainly too young to be going through this. So, I'm angry, and I wish I could just jump into this photo and go back to that day where I had my Ford Aspire and my friend Josh Arnold, and my Dad didn't have cancer. Those were happier times. My life will never be that happy ever again, because with Josh dead, and my Dad battling cancer, life is sad and depressing and can never be as happy as it was ever again. I'm sure I'll experience happiness again, but it is never going to be as happy as it was in times past.

Karli
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1 comments:

Deborah said...

Karli, I'm so sorry. Reach out if you need help. Or go hug your beautiful son and sweet husband. Deb

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