The First Year of Parenthood is Nearing an End

Friday, January 27, 2006
Flashback a year ago--I am 9 months pregnant, and wondering if this will be a January or a February baby. I am uncomfortable and the futon is the only place I can catch a few hours of sleep between back pains, baby movements, hunger cravings. I can only eat certain foods or I suffer from acid reflux for hours on end. I am stressed about how I'm going to get my toenails painted for labor & delivery & my legs shaved as well, because I can't see my legs, for my huge belly, and I can't reach my toes. The nursery is ready, my suitcase is packed. I still don't know if I am having a girl or a boy. A fill-in OB told me earlier in the week that there was an 80% chance I would deliver last weekend, but here I still am.

Flashforward a year. I am a mother, and have lost the 60 pounds I gained during pregnancy, plus 10 more, making me 70 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year. My stretchmarks have faded, and my body has recovered & healed from delivering a 9lb. 14 oz. baby boy. This year has transformed me to the point that I can hardly remember who I was and what I was up to before I gave birth and became a mother if it weren't for the archives on this blog. Samuel has been walking for two months now, and is an inquisitive, expressive, and curious boy. The changes he and I (and Landon) have undergone this past year really amaze me. Everyone knows that most babies go from helpless infants to walking and independent walkers within the first year, but watching this process unfold is nonetheless amazing!

Having almost made it through the first year, I don't understand how so many people are already thinking or pregnant with baby #2. When I got pregnant with Samuel, I had been thinking about having a baby for a couple of years. It was a constant desire of mine to have a baby. Even though Samuel was a surprise, and it was a little stressful that first week after discovering I was pregnant, I was so happy, because it was something that I had wanted for a long time. But, to be honest, I haven't thought hardly at all about baby #2. Sometimes I wonder if those feelings I had before getting pregnant with Samuel (some call it a ticking biological clock) will ever surface again. I'm happy with having one child. I wonder if I will ever have two. Regardless, it will be a few more years before we'll be ready to have another baby. For me, pregnancy and childbirth were such a challenge--it took all the strength in me to get through pregnancy, surgery, and childbirth (I had gallbladder surgery when I was 21 weeks pregnant, which was the scariest experience of my life). So, I'm not the type of person that will just get pregnant because having two children is the way to go. I have to REALLY want it, and be ready & willing to put 100% of my strength and will into the process. I still have 15 years of fertility ahead of me, so I have lots of time to let this happen if it is meant to be.

I found an interesting article on the Oprah interview yesterday with James Frey. Is his career over? Yes, I think it is--at least he can keep the millions he made.

Au revoir--Karli

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